"The Vow I Never Meant to Keep" Chapter 3
The nerves in my head felt like they were dancing, stabbing me with sharp agony, and the pain was so intense that I fell heavily to the floor, lacking the strength to stand up.
I could only curl up and hold myself tight.
I couldn't see anything, and I couldn't hear anything.
Yet, at the peak of the pain, I suddenly fell into a cold embrace.
"Clara? Clara Ke!"
The voice was too familiar. I struggled to open my eyes and met Julian’s gaze, filled with anxiety and concern.
He held me, his tone furious: "Why did you run off without a word? Are you planning to give up on your treatment?!"
My consciousness was shattering, yet I shook my head: "No... I'm not. Julian, let me go."
But Julian didn't let go; instead, he asked: "Then what if I marry you?"
"Clara Ke, if we get married, will you go back and get your treatment properly?"
Chapter 5
I couldn't answer Julian.
After his words fell, a violent pain shot through my head, and I passed out cold.
When I woke up, I was back in the hospital.
As soon as I opened my eyes, Julian's calm voice reached my ears: "You're awake. Does it still hurt?"
I shook my head subconsciously, but immediately remembered what he had said in the apartment.
Julian was going to marry me? He wanted to marry me?!
But why?
Hadn't he refused before? Why had he suddenly changed his mind?
The thought crossed my mind for a fleeting moment before I had the answer.
It wasn't love—it was pity and compassion.
I sat up slowly, my throat parched: "You..."
As if knowing what I was going to say, Julian interrupted: "I am serious about the marriage. I've already told my family, they like you very much and have no objections."
"Don't overthink it. It's not out of pity; it's because I want to get married."
Since the day I started loving him, I had been waiting for this day for ten years—waiting for the moment Julian would propose.
But it wasn't supposed to be like this.
I looked straight into Julian's eyes: "Then what about Nina? Don't you like her?"
At the mention of Nina, Julian’s eyes flickered.
Just then, his phone vibrated.
We looked at the screen at the same time and saw the name "Nina" flashing.
Strangely, I felt like a third party interfering in someone else's relationship.
I didn't like this feeling, so I lowered my head: "I'll pretend I didn't hear what you said earlier. Go ahead and take the call."
But Julian hung up the phone instead: "I'll stay with you."
I didn't respond, trying to reject his self-righteous kindness with silence.
I couldn't deny that deep down, I was happy.
But I knew it was all like a dream that would one day come to an end.
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Under the influence of the medication, I fell asleep again without realizing it.
I didn't know how much time had passed when I was woken up by some rustling sounds.
Looking back, I saw Julian was no longer in the ward.
The door was left slightly ajar, and the sound of lowered voices from outside drifted in.
I hadn't paid attention at first.
Until a woman's voice suddenly rose in volume: "Then what does that make me?"
It was Nina.
I froze for a few seconds, held my breath, stepped barefoot onto the floor, and walked to the door.
The scene before me was like a thousand needles piercing my heart!
In the dim corner of the hallway, Nina was crying in Julian's arms, looking completely wronged.
And Julian, that god-favored soul who never bowed to anyone, bent down and kissed Nina’s eyes.
I had once read a line in a book—
If a man kisses a woman's eyes, it means he loves her to the extreme.
Because he has learned how to be gentle.
I swayed, grabbing the doorknob just in time to keep from collapsing to the floor.
After a long while, I returned to my hospital bed, feeling numb.
And that night, Julian did not come back.
I was scheduled for my first chemotherapy session the next day.
I was terrified and hoped for someone to be by my side.
But with Julian gone, I felt a sense of relief.
The chemotherapy was painful; by the time I was brought back to the ward, I was covered in a cold sweat, so weak that my face was ghastly pale.
I had intended to rest well, but I didn't expect someone to be sitting in my room.
It was Felix, a mutual friend of Julian and me.
I didn't want anyone to see me in such a state, so I forced myself to stay alert: "Why are you here?"
Felix scratched his head: "I heard from Julian that you were sick, so I came to check on you... Are you okay?"
"Brain tumor," I said weakly, "I'm going to die sooner or later."
Felix wore a look of shock, hesitant to speak.
I saw it and frowned slightly: "Just say what's on your mind."
Once said, he could leave quickly.
Felix looked conflicted, but eventually spoke: "Clara, as your friend, it breaks my heart to see you like this. But Julian came to drink with us last night, and he got completely wasted..."
"If I may be blunt, since you're dying, could you stop using this illness to force him to marry you?"
Chapter 6
My pale face turned even more bloodless in an instant.
For a moment, I couldn't even find my voice.
It took a long while to ask: "Did he say it himself... that I forced him?"
Felix realized he had gone too far and averted his eyes, feeling guilty: "No, but he suddenly came to find us, mentioned that you were sick and that you two were getting married, and then just started downing bottles."
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"Everyone knows what you feel for him. Isn't it obvious..."
He left the rest of his sentence unfinished, but I understood.
The person involved is often blinded, while the bystander sees clearly.
Our friends could more or less tell that I was in love with Julian.
And now that I was terminally ill, we were about to get married!
Of course, it could only be perceived as me forcing him.
My heart felt like it had been crushed by a massive boulder, the suffocating pain making it hard to breathe.
Seeing my state, Felix panicked and blurted out, "I'll go get a nurse," before standing up and leaving.
However, no nurse came—Julian did.
He walked with hasty strides, almost rushing over to support me: "Clara, are you okay? Look at me, can you see clearly?"
Up close, I could clearly smell the lingering scent of alcohol and smoke on Julian.
He never touched those things before...
Had I really forced him to this point?
My throat felt raw, and my heart burned with a sour ache.
I used all my strength to push him away: "Stay away from me!"
Julian was forced to retreat two steps, his brows slightly furrowed: "What are you throwing a tantrum for now? Is it because I forgot to accompany you to chemotherapy?"
I tried my best to suppress the dual pain of my heart and body, forcing a mocking smile: "Why would I be angry that you didn't accompany me? You’re not my boyfriend."
"In other words, you don't have to care about my feelings at all."
"Just like now—you think I'm being unreasonable, right? Then you should just turn around and leave, and dump me here!"
Just like the countless times in the past when my thoughts were tied to him, yet he never once noticed.
I was already used to it, so why try to change?
Why is it that when I want something, I can't get it, but when I don't want it, it’s forced upon me?
I couldn't control my emotions, and tears fell in large droplets.
Julian didn't understand what had happened to me so suddenly.
"Clara, let me help you lie down first. The nurse will come to put you on an IV in a moment, and it won't hurt anymore."
As he spoke, he reached out his hand.
But I pushed it away violently.
My eyes held an unspeakable sense of finality: "Julian, do you not understand plain speech?"
"I don't need you to look after me, and I have absolutely no desire to marry you. We both know that promise was just a joke. Do you really think I like you?"
"I just thought playing with you was fun."
Julian’s expression finally turned cold and harsh: "Clara Ke, do you know what you are saying?"
I forced myself to speak: "I do. We've been friends for twenty years; I don't want things to end on such an ugly note. Please, don't ever appear in front of me again."
As I finished, a dead silence filled the room.
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