"Five Alphas Broke Me—Now They Want Me Back" Chapter 12 — THE FIRST KISS WASN'T HIS
Lucas asked for a walk, not a date.
Elliot stared at the message for ten minutes before replying: One hour. Public trail. No surprises.
Lucas answered almost immediately: Agreed. Thank you.
They met beside the river on a bright, freezing afternoon. Lucas wore a navy coat and carried two paper cups. He held one out but did not step closer.
“Hot chocolate,” he said. “With cinnamon. I checked this time.”
Elliot accepted it. “You learn quickly when someone stops making excuses for you.”
“I wish I'd learned sooner.”
They walked along the path. Families passed with dogs and sleds. The normality felt strange. Elliot had expected the air to crackle with the bond, but it was quiet enough to hear the river.
Lucas pointed to a stand of pines. “I used to hide there when Damien made us train at dawn.”
“You were afraid of him?”
“Terrified. I pretended I wasn't.”
Elliot glanced at him. “You pretended a lot of things.”
Lucas nodded. “I pretended your feelings didn't matter because I didn't know what to do with mine.”
“That isn't romantic, Lucas.”
“I know. I'm not asking you to make it romantic.”
They stopped beside a wooden bridge. Elliot watched water slide over dark stones.
“Why did you laugh that night?” he asked.
Lucas swallowed. He knew exactly which night Elliot meant.
“Because Ryder was laughing. Because Damien was angry. Because I wanted to belong with them more than I wanted to be decent to you.”
Elliot's eyes stung. “I thought you were the kind one.”
“So did I,” Lucas whispered. “I was wrong.”
For a while they said nothing. Then Elliot stepped closer, studying Lucas's face as if looking for someone he had lost.
“Do you want to kiss me?” Elliot asked.
Lucas went very still. “Yes. But I won't unless you want it too.”
“I want to know whether I can choose something without regretting it.”
“You can change your mind at any second.”
Elliot considered that, then touched Lucas's sleeve.
“One kiss,” he said.
Lucas waited until Elliot nodded again. Their lips met briefly, softly, without the desperate claiming instinct Elliot had feared. Lucas kept his hands at his sides until Elliot took one.
When they separated, Elliot breathed out.
“That was nice,” he admitted.
Lucas smiled, almost disbelieving. “It was.”
“Don't make it bigger than it is.”
“I won't.”
They finished the walk without another kiss.
But the bond carried a faint flicker across Blackthorn Ridge, and four other Alphas felt it.
Ryder was the first to react. He dropped a training blade and turned toward the river.
Adrian caught his arm. “Don't.”
“You felt that.”
“Yes.”
“He kissed Elliot.”
“Maybe. And if Elliot wanted that, it's his decision.”
Ryder's wolf surged against his ribs. He clenched his jaw until the urge passed.
“I'm going to run,” he said.
“Good idea.”
Sebastian felt the flicker while drafting a legal brief. He set down his pen, irritated by the jealousy that rose before he could reason with it.
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He had once accused Elliot of using the bond to manipulate them. Now he knew the ugliness of wanting something Elliot had not offered.
Sebastian closed the brief and went back to work.
Damien felt it in a council meeting. The old instinct to command was so immediate he nearly stood.
Instead, he asked for a five-minute recess and walked into the corridor.
Gideon found him staring at the snow.
“Another Alpha?” the elder asked.
“Lucas.”
“And?”
“And Elliot is free to kiss him.”
Gideon studied his son. “You say that as though it hurts.”
“It does.”
“Then learn to bear it without making it his burden.”
Damien gave a bitter smile. “You could have taught me that years ago.”
“I should have.”
At the greenhouse, Elliot arrived home to find June kneading bread. She glanced at his flushed cheeks.
“You had a good walk?”
“Yes.”
“Anything you want to tell me?”
Elliot considered lying, then laughed. “I kissed Lucas.”
June stopped kneading. “And how do you feel?”
“Confused. Happy for a minute. Afraid afterward.”
“All of those can be true.”
Elliot sat at the table. “What if I want to try again? What if the others think that means I've forgiven them?”
“Then you tell them it doesn't.”
A knock sounded at the door. Elliot stiffened, but June looked through the window before opening it.
Ryder stood on the step, hands visible, breath clouding the glass.
“I can leave,” he said when he saw Elliot.
“Why are you here?” Elliot asked.
Ryder looked miserable. “Because I was jealous. I came to tell you that I'm handling it, not to ask you to change anything.”
Elliot stared. “You came all this way to tell me you're not going to interfere?”
“Yes.”
“That is a strange announcement.”
“I know.” Ryder swallowed. “I wanted to say something ugly about Lucas. I didn't. I won't.”
Elliot studied the man who had once frightened him with a single step. Ryder remained on the threshold, waiting.
“Good night, Ryder,” Elliot said.
“Good night.”
He left without asking for more.
June closed the door. “That was new.”
Elliot touched his lips, remembering the gentle kiss by the river.
“Everything is new,” he whispered.
Later, Damien called a meeting with the other four. Lucas arrived last, wary and hopeful.
“I won't apologize for kissing him,” Lucas said before anyone spoke.
“You shouldn't,” Damien replied.
Ryder stared at the floor. Sebastian looked surprised. Adrian simply nodded.
Damien placed five unsigned copies of the revised covenant on the table.
“We need to understand something,” he said. “Elliot doesn't owe any of us a turn. He may choose Lucas. He may choose someone outside this room. He may choose nobody.”
Lucas's smile faded into seriousness.
“And if he chooses one of us?” Ryder asked.
“Then the others respect it.”
No one liked the answer. That was precisely why Damien knew it mattered.
Across the ridge, Elliot opened his notebook beneath a small lamp.
He wrote: I kissed someone because I wanted to. I stopped because I wanted to. Nobody was angry.
He read the sentence twice, then turned the page.
Tomorrow, he would decide what he wanted next.
Before sleeping, Lucas wrote a message and deleted it. He wanted to thank Elliot for the kiss, to tell him he had been thinking about it all evening, to ask when they could meet again.
Instead, he remembered Elliot's warning not to make the moment larger than it was. He put his phone away and sat by the window until his wolf settled.
At the greenhouse, Elliot was not waiting for a message. He was sketching a plan for the spring beds. He drew a path wide enough for two people to walk side by side, then erased one of the figures he had absentmindedly placed there.
He smiled at himself. There was room for company in his future. There was also room for solitude. He no longer needed to decide tonight.
Elliot looked toward the forest. The distance between what he had survived and what he wanted was still wide, but it belonged to him to cross. He made no promise to anyone that evening.
He simply closed the door, set his boots beside the stove, and allowed himself the peace of an ordinary night.
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