Only then did I notice the swollen patch on the arm I'd hit.

I got up immediately and took hold of it.

“What did you do? Come on. I'm taking you to urgent care.”

He shook his head.

“Collision on the court. I've already been to the campus clinic. They gave me some ointment.”

He withdrew his arm, his voice cooling.

“Don't worry about it. I'll figure out how to wash.”

His lowered eyes held just the faintest trace of dejection.

I hesitated for two seconds, then called him back.

“I'll help.”

He stopped and shot me an impatient glance.

“Don't force yourself.”

Determined to protect his apparently fragile pride, I said firmly, “I'm not.”

10

It was an exercise in psychological endurance.

For the first time, I couldn't decide whether our suite having its own shower was a blessing or a curse.

The little bathroom felt airless.

When Julian reached for his waistband, I couldn't help speaking up.

“You can keep your shorts on, can't you?”

His dark eyes stayed on me for several seconds.

Whatever he was thinking, he eventually nodded.

“Sure.”

It didn't help much.

The air was hot and damp, and the atmosphere between us kept turning into something I couldn't ignore.

I squeezed body wash onto my hand and rubbed it over his shoulder, spreading the lather with stiff, awkward movements.

Julian was much taller than me.

Presumably so I could reach, he bent toward me.

Suddenly, he was very close.

Water splashed onto my shirt. The thin fabric clung to me, my skin showing through.

“Finn.”

His voice had gone strangely rough.

I didn't dare look up.

“What?”

“Your shirt's wet too. Why don't you take it off and shower with me?”

His head kept lowering until it was almost resting on my shoulder.

I shook my head at once, clinging to the little sense I had left.

“No. I'm fine.”

He didn't push it.

But when he straightened, his lips brushed my ear.

I startled and shoved him away, putting space between us.

Before my face could catch fire and my thoughts could completely unravel, I blurted, “You can rinse off yourself,” and escaped.

Julian came out in a dry pair of drawstring shorts and nothing else.

He had a towel draped over his head. After a few careless passes, he abandoned it, his dark hair still damp.

He walked over.

“That wasn't on purpose.”

Then he dropped into the seat beside me and rubbed my ear with his fingers.

“Kissed you again, though.”

His tone was impossible to read.

To demonstrate how completely unbothered I was, I didn't even look up.

“I didn't notice.”

Julian studied me and gave a quiet, skeptical laugh.

“Good. Then would you mind putting the ointment on?”

This time, I made a point of keeping a very generous distance between us.

He leaned back in his chair, his smile sharpening.

“A little jumpy, aren't we? What, are you afraid I'll kiss you again?”

I looked at him with innocent eyes.

“What? No. You've got the wrong idea. This is a perfectly normal amount of personal space for me.”

“Is that so?”

He looked at the distance between us—I had to straighten my arm completely to reach his—and laughed without much amusement.

Then he caught my arm and pulled me in front of him.

His hand slid behind me, bracing firmly against my waist.

“Do it from here, Finn. Or sit on my lap. Your choice.”

He watched me with an unnervingly searching look.

“Would a straight guy really be this worried about it?”

The question hit far too close.

My ability to argue deserted me.

All I could do was deny it.

“I'm not worried. I'm not.”

I ducked my head and hurriedly spread the ointment over his arm.

11

Lying in bed that night, I slowly regained my ability to think.

I replayed the past few days and realized that some of the things Julian and I had been doing were probably a little too intimate.

Just then, he made a small sound of pain.

He must have knocked his injured arm.

I propped myself up on an elbow.

“Did you hit it?”

“Yeah.”

His tone was casual.

“There's too much room in this bed. I keep rolling over in my sleep. I'll probably knock it again.”

Julian looked over at me, his voice slow and deliberate.

“If something took up the other half, I wouldn't be able to turn over. Problem solved.”

Oh. I understood.

I nodded.

“Got it.”

Then I climbed out of bed with my pillow, crossed the room, and climbed onto his.

Julian immediately shifted to the far edge, leaving the other half free.

He raised an eyebrow, trying for casual and failing to hide his good mood.

“When did you get so accommodating?”

I gave him a puzzled look.

Then I wedged my pillow beside him.

“There. That'll stop you rolling over.”

Before he could thank me, I gave his shoulder a kindly pat.

“You're welcome. Go to sleep.”

High-maintenance bastard.

Julian stared at the pillow for a very long time.

Eventually, he hugged it and lay down.

12

I couldn't decide whether Theo was genuinely that oblivious.

He hadn't noticed that Julian was being a complete asshole: quietly pursuing him while simultaneously behaving as though boundaries between me and him didn't exist.

But I was starting to lose my patience.

I avoided Julian whenever I could.

Classes, unfortunately, were unavoidable.

He'd even signed up for the same elective as me.

When he sat down in the seat beside mine, it was with an air of restrained irritation.

“Roommate.”

He looked at me with a smile that wasn't quite a smile.

“Funny thing. We live in the same room, and somehow I never see you anymore. Want to explain that?”

I was tired of whatever this undefined thing between us was becoming.

Some of that frustration slipped into my voice.

“I don't think I owe you an explanation.”

Julian didn't move.

He watched me quietly.

The air between us went cold.

After a long moment, he settled back into his own seat and faced the board.

“My mistake,” he said evenly.

I felt worse.

13

Julian didn't say another word to me for the rest of class.

The silence was awkward.

When the lecture ended, I was getting ready to leave when a vaguely familiar guy stopped me.

It took me half a minute to place him. We belonged to the same campus club.

“Finn. Hey. Do you... remember me?”

He stood awkwardly in front of me, looking shy.

I nodded.

“What's up?”

Julian leaned against a nearby desk, looking down at his phone. He hadn't left.

A blush spread across the guy's tan face.

“Could I get your number? And, um... I just wanted to tell you I think you're really pretty.”

Pretty.

I had softer features than most guys, so I'd been hearing that word my entire life.

During my rebellious teenage years, I'd hated it. I'd taken up smoking, fighting, and judo in the hope of getting people to call me something else.

It hadn't worked.

Eventually, I'd got used to it.

Before I could answer, Julian spoke.

“Don't get your hopes up, man.” His voice was lazy and distant. “He's straight.”

The disappointment on the guy's face was immediate.

I thought about it and let out a slow breath.

“Sure.”

Maybe I should try getting to know someone else.

I took out my phone and held it toward him.

“Put your number in.”

His face lit up.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Julian let out a short laugh.

There was nothing warm about it.

He said nothing else.

He just turned and left.

14

When I got back to the dorm, it was just Julian and me again.

Theo had texted to say he was staying off campus.

Something was off about Julian's mood.

He had the dangerous stillness of a storm about to break.

But he didn't do anything.

He just drank a bottle of water before bed.

And then, somehow, accidentally spilled it all over his sheets.

The entire bed was soaked. There was no sleeping in it.

I was still staring when he walked over to mine.

“My bed's out of commission. I'm sleeping with you tonight.”

His expression didn't change.

“Say no, and I'll simply have to die.”

I had no response to that.

There was a quiet strain of insanity in Julian Hayes.

After two stunned seconds, I said, “You can have my bed. I'll sleep in Theo's. I'll text him.”

Julian nodded, producing a meaningless little smile.

“Suit yourself.”

I changed into my sleep clothes, climbed onto Theo's bed, and pulled back the privacy curtain.

His mattress was gone.

He'd taken the entire fucking mattress.

All that remained was the bare bed platform.

Why would anyone take their mattress away for a few nights?

With no better option, I went back to share with Julian.

A dorm bed wasn't exactly spacious.

Once I lay down on my side with my back to him, there was barely an inch to spare.