Put some feeling into my fist, asshole.

I held back the words and smiled instead.

Alcohol buzzed through my nerves, loosening the last of my good judgment.

A truly terrible idea occurred to me.

I rested a hand on Julian's shoulder and leaned toward his ear.

My breath warmed the side of his neck.

I made my voice soft. Sweet.

“Hey, husband.”

Underneath me, he went rigid.

Encouraged, I reached up and rubbed his other earlobe between my fingers.

“Win the next round for me,” I murmured, “and I'll give you a kiss. How does that sound?”

Something stormy gathered in Julian's eyes.

He watched me for a long moment before taking my chin in his hand and turning my face slightly, his thumb brushing over my skin.

“You want to raise the stakes?”

Julian's brain clearly wasn't working tonight. I was certain he couldn't win.

Which meant my mouth got progressively more reckless.

“That's nothing. Win properly, and I'll make out with you for three minutes. Tongue and everything.”

Julian smiled.

It wasn't a reassuring smile.

“Don't make promises you're scared to keep, Finn.”

I had no idea what was waiting for me ten minutes later.

I just gave him a smug look.

6

For the next round, Mason suggested liar's dice.

Five dice each. Bid on how many of a particular number were hidden under the cups.

I sat beside Mason as he confidently made his call.

“Four threes.”

Julian didn't react.

“Five threes.”

Mason called his bluff immediately and lifted his own cup.

“Ha! I don't have a single three. Unless you've got five of a kind, you're screwed.”

I let out a breath.

So Julian was still operating without a functioning brain.

Five of a kind wasn't easy to roll. And the man who'd used four aces to beat a three was definitely not about to pull it off.

Then someone spoke up.

“He hasn't shown his dice yet.”

Mason scoffed, walked over, and lifted Julian's cup himself.

He froze.

Around us, people started exclaiming.

“Holy shit. He actually did it.”

“Can he just roll whatever he wants?”

Unease prickled through me.

I pushed through the others to look.

Five threes.

I went even more still than Mason.

Five of a kind meant Julian had won.

Which meant...

I had to kiss him.

Slowly, mechanically, I turned toward him.

Julian was watching me, perfectly at ease.

He raised an eyebrow.

The message was clear: Don't make promises you're scared to keep.

At that exact moment, Theo finally came back from his call.

I watched nervously for his reaction.

To my astonishment, once someone explained, he joined the chanting.

“Kiss him! Kiss him!”

I blinked at him.

Was Julian's crush still completely one-sided? Did Theo not like him at all?

Julian got up lazily, took my hand, and led me into an empty room.

I made one last attempt to save myself.

“Julian. Look. Is there any chance we could—”

“No.”

He cut me off, his mouth curving mockingly.

“We're both guys. What's the big deal about one little kiss? Isn't that what you said?”

He held my gaze, searching my face.

“What's the problem? You're not gay.”

I reacted like he'd stepped on my tail.

“Of course I'm not. I'm straight.”

I said it with all the calm I could fake.

Then I closed my eyes, rose onto my toes, and kissed him.

His hand settled at my waist almost immediately.

He kissed me back.

When I tried to pull away, he drew me in again.

His eyes half-opened, his mouth brushing mine as he spoke in a low, rough voice.

“Three minutes. Not a second less.”

Then he kissed me again.

By the time he finally let me go, I was fairly sure several sets of three minutes had passed.

My breathing was unsteady. I looked anywhere but at him.

“You know this was just a forfeit, right, Julian? It's a game. We shouldn't read anything into it.”

I didn't wait for his answer.

I pushed open the door and hurried back to the others.

Julian barely joined in for the rest of the night.

He sat by himself in the booth and drank.

And he didn't look at me once.

7

By the time the party broke up, Julian had had far too much to drink.

It was well past the residence hall's cutoff for signing in overnight guests, so I took him back to his off-campus apartment and stayed there.

On the way, we ran into a girl from the year below us who'd apparently just left a party too.

Her cheeks were pink, her eyes slightly unfocused as she looked at Julian.

“Hey. Can I ask... do you have a girlfriend?”

Julian put on his usual unapproachable expression.

“No.”

Her eyes lit up.

I was wondering whether I should tactfully disappear when he added, with truly unnecessary flair, “But I have a boyfriend.”

She stared.

Before I could do more than stand there, Julian pulled me into his arms.

His hand stroked the back of my head, almost absently.

“I'm completely gone for him. Not planning on breaking up anytime soon.”

He delivered the lie without so much as blinking.

“Or ever, actually. Sorry.”

He waited until she'd left before releasing me, in no particular hurry.

To cover my embarrassment, I resorted to sarcasm.

“You know pretending to be gay is going to come back and bite you, right?”

He hadn't actually admitted to liking Theo. I was still doing my part to pretend I hadn't noticed.

Julian stopped walking.

For once, he didn't throw a comeback at me.

He looked straight at me, something in his eyes I couldn't decipher.

“Who told you I was straight?”

I went still.

A cold gust blew down the street, clearing most of the alcohol from my head.

Julian's eyes were clearer than mine.

His voice carried through the quiet.

“Finn. There's someone I like.”

Then he said, “He's a guy.”

When things got bad, I'd always reminded myself that Julian had only been looking at Theo a lot. He'd never said anything. There was still a chance for me.

Now, with those few words, he crushed the last of that hope.

It took a long time to find my voice.

“Who?”

Julian held my gaze.

“You know him. But I'm not ready to say who.”

I nodded and didn't ask anything else.

I didn't have the energy to speak.

A faint, self-mocking smile pulled at his mouth.

“He's straight. I haven't worked up the nerve to tell him yet. I'm afraid I'll scare him off.”

I said nothing.

Then he spoke my name.

“You're straight too. Can you help me figure out how to win him over?”

As though he thought I might refuse, he added a small smile.

“Please.”

I shook my head anyway.

“Why not?”

I stepped closer and managed a thin smile.

“We should probably keep a little distance. If you two get together and he finds out I helped you pursue him while we were also...”

I paused, then forced out the embarrassing part.

“Kissing. He's going to have a problem with that.”

To my surprise, Julian laughed.

He gave me an unreadable look.

“He won't. He's a lot less innocent than I am. Lets other guys put their hands wherever they want.”

My thoughts immediately veered off course.

Had he completely misunderstood something about Theo?

8

Not long after that conversation, Julian applied to move into our dorm suite.

It was a four-person suite, but until then, Theo and I had been the only ones living there.

Now there were three of us.

On his very first day, Julian started showing off like a peacock.

He invited Theo and me to the most expensive restaurant near campus.

I knew I was only the tagalong and didn't want to go.

But Theo insisted on dragging me with him.

9

The first thing Julian did was slide the menu toward Theo.

“Order whatever you want.”

Theo stared at him for a few seconds.

Then he burst out laughing.

He kept laughing on and off while he ordered, shaking his head.

“Smooth. Really smooth.”

I gave him a look.

Since when could he be bought with one expensive dinner?

But apparently, I was getting ahead of myself.

Theo wasn't taking Julian's bait. Or he hadn't understood why Julian was doing it.

That evening, he packed a bag and announced he was staying off campus for a few days.

Julian had moved in to spend more time with Theo and get closer to him.

So much for that plan.

When Julian got back from basketball, I volunteered the information.

“Theo's staying somewhere else.”

He didn't seem surprised.

Maybe Theo had disappointed him so often he'd gone numb.

“Okay,” he said mildly.

Then he raised an eyebrow.

“Finn. Help me shower?”

I turned and flung the book beside me at his arm.

“What happened? Both your hands stop working?”

Julian hissed, his brow creasing.