Current location: Novel nest THE BOY WHO WOULDN'T KNEEL Chapter 9

"THE BOY WHO WOULDN'T KNEEL" Chapter 9

STANDING BESIDE HIM

Claire's fingers tightened on the wheelchair.

"I had photographs."

Noah stood a few yards away.

"From who?"

"Victor, at first. Later I found some from your school. The ones they posted from sports day."

He remembered that sports day. He had come last in the relay and blamed his shoes.

"You saw those?"

"You wore a red shirt. You were holding a blue cup in one picture."

He looked at her hands.

She wore no wedding ring. There was a pale band where it had been.

"Did you think I still looked four?"

Her mouth shook.

"Sometimes. When I was tired, or when I woke up. Then I'd see a picture and realize how much I'd missed."

The nurse asked whether they would prefer a room. Noah nodded before anyone else could answer.

They went into a small family room with an armchair and a box of wooden blocks on a low shelf. Claire remained in the wheelchair. Ethan stood by the door until Noah said, "You too."

He sat.

Rachel took the chair nearest Noah.

For a while he studied the blocks. One had a bite mark along its painted edge.

"Did you miss me?"

"Every day."

"All day?"

Claire drew a breath.

"Not every minute. Sometimes I had to work. Sometimes I was angry, or trying to get through something, and I couldn't think about you because it hurt too much. Then I'd remember something you said, and I'd have to find somewhere to be alone."

Noah looked up.

That answer sounded less like a card than the first one.

"What did you remember?"

"You used to call the little moon in the daytime the forgotten moon. You thought somebody had left it out."

He didn't remember saying that either.

"And you hated socks with a seam across the toes. Your dad kept turning them inside out."

"I still do."

A laugh escaped her, and then she was crying.

Noah stared at the blocks again.

"He gave me a watch," he said.

Claire wiped her cheek.

"Victor?"

"For my birthday. He said it was the one you would've picked."

Her face went still.

"I didn't know."

"He came to your grave."

Ethan's hand tightened against his knee.

"He told me you were somewhere better."

Claire pressed a tissue over her mouth.

Noah looked at her and waited. He had spent years being sent from rooms when adults began to cry. He did not want anyone sent away now.

"I wrote to you," she said finally. "The first letter went through someone who worked where they kept me. He disappeared. Later Victor said he could take one. He told me you had read it."

"He didn't."

"I know that now."

"Why did you believe him?"

She lowered the tissue.

"Because I wanted to. Because he was my brother, and he was the only person bringing me news about you. Even when I knew what he'd done, I wanted to believe there was one thing he wouldn't do."

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Noah rubbed the seam of his sweatshirt.

"Dad told me about the fire. And how you couldn't leave."

"Yes."

"But at the store you could walk around."

Claire nodded slowly.

"I'd been doing that for months. Working at different places for them. They thought I was frightened enough to keep doing what I was told. I was frightened. I also started looking for a way to send things out."

"Why didn't you come to Rachel's?"

"I thought I'd be followed."

"You could've called."

She looked at Ethan, then back at Noah.

"There were times I might have managed a call. I thought you'd tell someone without meaning to, and they'd know I'd contacted you. After I learned your father was alive, I tried to reach him through the operation. That channel was being watched too."

"So I didn't get to know anything."

"No."

Noah waited for the explanation that would make the no smaller. It didn't come.

"I should have kept looking for another way to reach you," she said. "Once I had people outside who could help, I was still thinking about what to finish before I left. I thought if I got enough names, I could stop being afraid for you."

"Were there always more names?"

She bowed her head.

"Yes."

Ethan looked at her for a long moment. Then he leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

"I kept moving the day too," he said. "The day I could tell you. First I needed to know who survived the fire. Then who tried to kill me. Then who was passing information. Every time I thought I was close, I found another reason to wait."

Noah looked from one parent to the other.

They seemed smaller sitting there. Not less important. Just no longer able to fill every space with an answer.

"Were you going to leave me in the store?" he asked his mother.

"I was trying to open the protected staff route. I went to the control terminal, then out through the service passage to reach the outside team. I didn't know your father had come into the building. I thought I could get you moved out with the other customers."

"Derek grabbed me."

"I saw part of it on the terminal."

"And you still went?"

She closed her eyes briefly.

"I thought getting help outside was the quickest way. I was wrong about how quickly things were changing."

"I thought you were just a lady."

"I know."

"You called me sweetheart."

Claire covered her face for a moment, then lowered her hands.

"I nearly said your name."

Noah's throat hurt. He wanted to make her feel better. The urge made him angry, because he was the one who had been waiting, and she was the one crying.

"I don't want to say it's okay," he said.

"You don't have to."

He looked at his father.

Ethan nodded.

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Noah picked up a block. Put it down.

"Can you come to the house?"

Claire's expression changed so quickly he looked away.

"When the doctors let me. And when we know it's safe."

"Rachel's house. Not somewhere secret."

"Rachel's house," she said.

Rachel blew her nose loudly.

"I'll need more chicken."

Noah laughed then, unexpectedly. It came out wet and strange, but it was a laugh. Claire made a small sound that might have been one too.

He stood up.

His mother stayed where she was. He walked to her slowly and stopped beside the wheelchair.

There was the little scar on her eyebrow. A gray thread in her hair. A tear resting at the corner of her mouth.

"You look different," he said.

"So do you."

He leaned against her.

She held him without pulling him closer than he wanted. He could feel her shaking. Her hand settled between his shoulders, exactly where Rachel's had been that morning.

After a while he reached behind him.

His father took his hand.

*

The court case lasted longer than Noah expected.

Adults kept telling him it would take time, and for once they were right about something that should have been obvious. People had to identify records, explain payments, find other witnesses. His mother spent hours in meetings, then came to Rachel's with a headache and helped him with homework anyway.

The ledger matched the copies she'd sent out. Neither depended on a single hidden page or a last-minute confession. Victor's records added names and dates. Sam gave evidence about his recruitment, though Brooks explained that helping now did not erase what he had done inside the store.

Derek stayed in custody. So did Victor and Mercer. In time, their cases ended in convictions and sentences Noah learned about at the kitchen table, with someone sitting beside him rather than a television telling him first.

He did not visit his uncle.

When Victor sent a letter through his lawyer, Rachel put it in a drawer and told Noah it would remain there until he wanted it.

He didn't want it yet.

His parents did not move into the same bedroom and pretend six years had been an unusually long business trip. Claire rented a small place close to Rachel. Ethan stayed in the spare room while he worked out what his life was going to be.

Sometimes they argued in the kitchen. The first time, Noah stood in the doorway until they noticed him.

His father put down the glass he was holding.

"We're angry," he said. "Nobody's leaving tonight."

Claire wiped her hands on a dish towel.

"And if I go home later, I'll tell you before I go."

Noah went upstairs. He did not sleep immediately, but he stopped standing beside the door.

There were other things. A counselor with a crooked lampshade who let him talk about baseball for three visits before he mentioned the gun. A fire drill at school that made his hands go numb. A night when Ethan was eleven minutes late and answered his phone from traffic, letting Noah hear the turn signal until he pulled into the driveway.

Claire learned that he liked his eggs cooked longer now. Noah learned that she still couldn't draw a horse without making it look like a sick dog.

They found the old birthday cards. They found the photograph before he had been cut out of it for the funeral display.

Ethan put that one in a frame.

Their first trip back to Haven had come long before the court cases ended. Four months after the robbery, Rachel sent them there for tomatoes, pasta, and dish soap.

Noah had said he wanted to come. In the parking lot, he changed his mind twice without telling anyone.

The automatic doors opened.

He stopped.

Inside, a cart rattled against another cart. A checkout beeped. A baby complained from somewhere near the fruit.

His eyes found the ceiling. The shutter housing. The aisle where the water used to stand.

His father waited beside him.

Claire kept both hands on the cart, one wheel balanced on the entrance mat.

"We can take a minute," she said.

Noah nodded.

Alan came out from behind the service counter carrying a roll of receipt paper. He saw them and slowed.

"Good to see you, Noah."

"Hi."

The manager looked toward the checkout lanes.

"Somebody was asking about you the other day. The boy who stood up to—"

He stopped when Ethan glanced at him.

"Anyway. We're glad you're here."

Noah looked at the floor. The broken jar was gone. Of course it was. The tiles had been cleaned hundreds of times since that night. A new cardboard display stood where the woman had crouched over her baby.

He moved his hand until his fingers found his father's sleeve.

Ethan didn't look down. He simply moved closer.

"Which tomatoes?" Claire asked.

Noah looked at the handwritten list. Rachel had underlined the word twice.

"The little ones. She said not the expensive little ones."

"Very clear instructions," Ethan said.

Noah took a breath.

Then he walked in with them, still holding the sleeve.

At the vegetables, his mother picked up a carton of tomatoes and turned it to check the bottom. His father chose another and discovered a soft one hidden underneath.

"These?" Claire asked.

Noah compared the prices.

"Those."

She put them in the cart.

They went to find the pasta.

THE END

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