Chapter 4 — The Man Who Begged Me to Stay

Cole looked at my stomach as though it had become the center of the world.

"How far along?"

"The clinic estimated six weeks when I went. A little more now."

He dragged a hand over his mouth.

"Mine," he said, almost to himself.

I bent to pick up the folder he'd dropped. He reached at the same time, and our fingers touched.

He caught my hand.

"Don't go."

I pulled free.

"You should have said that before you sent the envelope."

His face changed. Behind him, the supervisors suddenly found reasons to leave.

"I was looking for you," he said. "I didn't know you were Ella."

"You didn't need to know my name to meet a woman you'd asked somebody else to throw out."

"You're right."

That wasn't enough. I had rehearsed being rejected so carefully that his sudden wanting felt cruel in a new way.

Owen came down the steps.

"You told me she was nobody to you."

Cole looked at him then.

"I know what I said."

"I asked you twice."

"Owen."

"Don't use that voice on me. I was here when she arrived freezing, when she didn't know whether she'd be allowed to keep the room, when she—"

"Stop," I said.

Both men looked at me.

"You don't have to list the humiliating parts. I was present for them."

Owen's face softened. "I'm sorry."

Cole stood utterly still.

I bent for my bag.

He moved first, then stopped himself before taking it from me.

"Give me ten minutes."

"My train won't wait."

"I'll get you another ticket."

"You can't buy another version of this conversation."

He flinched. The man who had made two supervisors stand straight looked suddenly unable to find a place for his hands.

My blue scarf slipped from my bag. He caught it before it landed in a puddle, dropping to one knee on the wet paving.

I reached for it.

He held it out immediately, but didn't stand.

"I let you think you weren't worth one meeting," he said. "You were the person I wanted every meeting to lead back to. I can't make that sound less stupid. I can't make it less hurtful."

The courtyard was quiet except for rain dripping from the gutter.

"I was afraid I'd never see you again," he continued. "Then I did see you, and the first thing you told me was that I had made you leave."

My throat closed.

He rose slowly.

"Don't forgive me because of the baby. But please hear me before you decide where I belong in your life."

It was the first thing he'd said that didn't sound like he expected an answer to obey him.

I walked past him into the guest cottage.

He followed only after I left the door open.

Owen stayed outside.

At the table, Cole took my broken spectacles from their paper wrapping when I showed him what I had carried home from the inn.

He turned the bent frame in his hands.

"The clerk offered to help you replace them. You said you had a spare pair."

"At home."

"I didn't realize you'd gone back there."

"Where else could I go?"

He put the glasses down carefully.

"Your parents thought you were at Seaview House," I said.

"I changed hotels that afternoon. My friend's shift ran late. Harbor Inn was closer to the hospital. I didn't think anybody needed an updated itinerary."

I looked at him.

That was all it had taken. A changed booking, an unanswered name, a pair of broken glasses. My family had nearly achieved their plan without either of us knowing it.

"Why cancel the engagement?"

"Because after you left, I couldn't pretend I was free to marry somebody else. I asked the hotel, went back twice, contacted the doctor. They couldn't give me a name you hadn't left."

"You remembered me?"

His gaze lifted sharply.

"I remembered how you gripped my sleeve. How you kept apologizing for bleeding on it. How you laughed when I said I was usually more frightening. I remembered waking and finding you gone."

The plainness of it hurt.

"I thought you might regret what happened," I admitted.

He leaned forward.

"The only part I regretted was letting morning arrive without knowing how to find you."

I told him why I had run. The planned trap, Grandma's injury, the care payments. He listened with his hands clasped so tightly the knuckles whitened.

When I finished, he stood.

"I'm taking you home."

I lifted my chin.

He stopped, exhaled, and tried again.

"Will you let me come with you?"

"To do what?"

"Help your grandmother. Meet the people who thought they could do this to you."

"You can't fix my family by glaring."

"No. But I can help you stop asking them for the next month's care money."

That mattered more than any grand promise.

We called the rehabilitation center together. A nurse confirmed Grandma was improving. Cole asked what arrangements would be needed for her to continue recovery somewhere safe, then handed the receiver back when the conversation required Grandma's wishes.

He wasn't magically solving everything. He was sitting beside me while I solved something that had seemed impossible alone.

After the call, I looked at my ticket.

"I don't know what I want from you yet."

"I know what I want from you."

I stiffened.

"Breakfast," he said. "An argument where you stay afterward. A chance to find out what makes you laugh when you aren't exhausted."

I looked up despite myself.

"You're making this sound ordinary."

"I'd like ordinary with you. I've had enough of trying to find you in every crowded street."

I agreed to let him accompany me. I didn't agree to a wedding.

He accepted that distinction without looking remotely satisfied by it.

At the office, Martin Shaw called him into a meeting. Cole asked me to wait on the bench outside the open door.

"The selection placement includes the offshore roster," Shaw said. "You know what accepting it requires."

"I haven't accepted it."

"Your team is expected to provide the roster lead. If you take it, you're available when called. No family exceptions invented afterward."

"Then assign the place to someone who can give you that commitment."

"You've wanted this for two years."

"I've requested leave to deal with an urgent family matter. My team has coverage."

"Bennett isn't your family."

Cole's voice dropped.

"She's carrying my child. And that isn't the only reason she matters."

I stared at my hands.

Shaw said nothing for a moment.

Then he mentioned Grayhaven, the island station. The lead position there would become vacant before Christmas. Someone with Cole's experience would be expected to take it if he withdrew from the selection track.

"Two years at a station most people spend their careers avoiding," Shaw said. "Think carefully."

"Approve the leave," Cole answered. "We'll discuss the assignment when I return."

Outside, I stood as he came toward me.

"I heard."

"I thought you might."

"You could hate me for this later."

"I could have hated myself for letting you leave today."

I shook my head. "That doesn't answer the question."

He looked at me, steadier now.

"The placement has conditions I don't want to accept. You didn't write them. You don't owe me a marriage because I won't sign them."

On our way to the car, Owen waited beside the gate.

"If you change your mind," he said to me, "you know where I am."

Cole's hand tightened on the bag.

I saw it. Owen saw it too.

"She's allowed to change her mind," Owen added.

"Yes," Cole said. "She is."

Then he looked at me.

"I'm going to spend the journey trying to make sure she doesn't want to."