"I Keep Waking Up in My Straight Roommate's Arms" Chapter 8

Noah met Lucas Reid on a Tuesday in the photography building.

Lucas was a graduate student with silver rings, an easy smile, and a series about bodies in motion. He wanted to photograph Noah painting for his final exhibition.

"You move like you're arguing with the canvas," Lucas said.

"Usually I am."

"Exactly. Two sessions. Paid."

Noah agreed before asking Adrian, then became annoyed with himself for thinking he should have asked. Adrian was his boyfriend, not his manager.

He mentioned the project at dinner.

"Lucas Reid?" Adrian asked.

"You know him?"

"He photographed the rowing team last year."

"Did he make you look heroic?"

"He asked me to remove my shirt."

Noah put down his fork. "Did you?"

"It was for the athletic department."

An image arrived without permission. Noah did not enjoy how much he enjoyed it.

"Interesting," he said.

Adrian's eyes narrowed. "What is?"

"Nothing. The first session is Friday."

Friday's shoot lasted three hours. Lucas adjusted lights, asked Noah to repeat gestures, and once placed a hand at Noah's waist to turn him toward the canvas.

Adrian arrived as that happened.

He had come directly from training, hair still damp, team jacket zipped to his throat. He stopped inside the studio. His gaze fixed on Lucas's hand.

Lucas removed it at once, although Noah suspected that had more to do with self-preservation than courtesy.

"Adrian," Noah said. "You're early."

"Practice ended."

Lucas looked between them. "The famous roommate."

"Boyfriend," Adrian said.

The word landed with quiet possession. Noah felt it low in his stomach.

"Right." Lucas smiled. "I heard the campus's most unavailable man had been claimed."

"No one claimed anyone," Noah said.

Adrian's jaw tightened. "We should go."

The walk home was silent. Snowmelt reflected city lights on the sidewalks. Adrian carried Noah's portfolio without being asked, his grip rigid around the handle.

"You didn't like him touching me," Noah said.

"It was not necessary."

"It was a pose adjustment."

"He could have explained it."

"You're jealous."

"Yes."

The direct answer stole Noah's next argument.

Adrian stopped beneath a streetlamp. "I dislike the way he looks at you. I dislike that he touched you. I know those feelings do not give me authority over your work."

"Then why announce that you're my boyfriend like you were planting a flag?"

"Because I am your boyfriend."

"That wasn't the part I objected to."

Adrian's expression went cold. "He said you were claimed."

Noah blinked.

"I corrected you, not him."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Adrian looked away. The fight left his shoulders. "My father treated my mother's time as property. Her friends, her work, even which language she spoke at home. I hated him for it. Sometimes I hear his voice in my head before I hear my own."

Noah had expected stubbornness. The confession disarmed him.

"You are not your father."

"Not wanting to be is not enough."

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"No. But noticing matters. Telling me matters." Noah stepped closer. "For the record, I liked hearing you call me your boyfriend."

Adrian's gaze returned to him.

"I also liked that you were jealous."

"That seems unwise."

"I didn't say I wanted you to control me. I said I enjoy knowing you want me."

"There has never been uncertainty on that point."

"You're very quiet about it in public."

Adrian set the portfolio against a building wall. Then he drew Noah close and kissed him in full view of the evening crowd.

It was not a display for Lucas. No one from the studio could see them. It was an answer made in Noah's language.

When they separated, Noah's hands were under Adrian's jacket and a woman walking a terrier had applauded.

"Better?" Adrian asked.

"Subtle."

"You complained about quiet."

Noah grinned. "I did."

At the second shoot, Adrian did not attend. Noah showed him the finished photographs that evening: charcoal on his fingers, paint on his jaw, his body blurred with motion around the one clear point of his face.

Adrian studied the final image.

"Lucas is good," he said.

"That sounded painful."

"It was accurate."

Noah kissed his temple. Trust did not eliminate jealousy. It made jealousy survivable.

Two days later, Lucas sent the selected files. One image stopped Noah: he stood before a blank canvas, head turned toward something outside the frame, expression soft and unguarded.

"What were you looking at?" Adrian asked.

"You had just come in."

Adrian enlarged the image. "I was not visible."

"You didn't have to be."

Noah submitted the photograph to a student exhibition with Lucas's permission. He titled it Witness.

At the opening, Adrian stood in front of it while strangers discussed composition and gaze. A professor said the unseen subject appeared to possess the model's attention completely.

Adrian's hand found Noah's.

"Possess is a dangerous word," he whispered.

"Attention can be given."

"Did you give me yours?"

Noah looked at the photograph, at the version of himself caught before he knew he was being observed. "Apparently before I admitted it."

Adrian raised their joined hands and pressed his mouth to Noah's knuckles. He did it without scanning the room first.

Across the gallery, Lucas caught Noah's eye and smiled. There was no challenge in it. Adrian saw the exchange and did not tighten his grip.

That tiny absence of reaction pleased Noah more than a dramatic scene would have.

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