"I Keep Waking Up in My Straight Roommate's Arms" Chapter 3

Noah waited for the rest.

Adrian did not provide it.

"And?" Noah asked.

"And nothing."

"People don't look like that over nothing."

"Like what?"

"Like you're trying to confess to a homicide without using the word body."

Adrian stood. "This conversation can wait until morning."

Noah caught his wrist.

The reaction was immediate. Adrian went still, every line of his body controlled around the point where Noah touched him. His pulse beat hard beneath Noah's fingers.

"No," Noah said. "It really can't."

Adrian looked down at their hands. "Let go."

The words were quiet, not angry.

Noah released him at once.

Adrian rubbed his wrist as if the contact had burned, then sat again.

"You climbed into my bed," he repeated. "You were asleep. I tried to wake you, but you became agitated. When I walked you back here, you hit your leg on the frame."

"That explains the bruise."

"Yes."

"And the backache?"

"You sleep diagonally and kick."

"In your bed."

"In my bed."

Heat crawled up Noah's neck. "How many times?"

"Three."

"You let me stay?"

"The first time, no. The second time, you came back twenty minutes later." Adrian's expression tightened around a memory Noah could not access. "The third time, I stopped trying."

"So we slept together."

"We occupied the same bed."

"That is the least romantic way anyone has ever said it."

"It was not romantic. You were unconscious."

The distinction landed cleanly. Whatever else Adrian was hiding, he had drawn that line without hesitation.

Noah glanced at the guard in his hand. "Did you touch me?"

Adrian's face closed.

"I need the truth."

"I moved you away from the edge. I put the blanket over you. Once, you grabbed my shirt and would not release it."

"And?"

"I held you."

The radiator hissed.

Noah's heartbeat became too loud.

"All night?"

"Until you woke at six and went back to your room without opening your eyes."

"You never told me."

"I should have."

"Why didn't you?"

Adrian leaned forward, forearms braced on his thighs. In daylight he looked untouchable. At two in the morning, barefoot beside Noah's bed, he looked twenty-three and exhausted and afraid of the answer he owed.

"At first I thought it was a single incident. Then it happened again. I spoke to the campus clinic without giving your name. They suggested a routine, less caffeine, and a medical evaluation. The milk was part of the routine."

"You still didn't tell me."

"No."

"Why?"

Adrian lifted his head.

"Because I began waiting for you."

The room seemed to tilt.

Noah searched Adrian's face for mockery and found none. Adrian did not joke. He barely understood jokes when other people made them.

"You wanted me to come into your bed."

"Yes."

"That is—" Noah stopped. Weird, he had meant to say. Instead he imagined Adrian awake in the dark, listening for his door. "Why?"

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Adrian's laugh held no humor. "You know why."

"I really don't."

"Everyone else does."

Noah thought of Marcus calling the milk devotion. He thought of Adrian memorizing the way his foot moved in sleep, buying a dental guard, learning exactly how much cinnamon he liked. He thought of Adrian's thumb crossing the mark his mouth had left on a mug.

Recognition arrived slowly, then all at once.

"You like me."

Adrian's mouth flattened. "Your powers of observation remain extraordinary."

"You like me," Noah repeated, because the sentence changed shape each time. "As in—"

"As in I have spent four months avoiding being alone with you after you shower."

Noah stared.

"That explains a lot."

"Does it?"

"You broke a cereal bowl the first week."

"You were wearing a towel."

"I was covered."

"Not adequately."

Despite everything, laughter rose in Noah's chest. Adrian watched him with the expression of a man awaiting a verdict.

Noah's laughter faded.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"No."

The answer stung more than it should have. "Why not?"

"You dated a woman last spring."

"I also dated a man sophomore year."

Adrian blinked.

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"Marcus knows."

"Marcus knows everything because he has no respect for privacy."

"You could have asked."

"I did not want information I could not use."

Noah looked down at the guard. "And now?"

"Now you know."

"That isn't what I asked."

Adrian rose and moved toward the door. He stopped with his hand on the frame, keeping his back to Noah.

"Now I want to kiss you," he said. "And I won't, because you learned ten minutes ago that I've been keeping track of your sleep. You should be angry. You should make the medical appointment. You should decide whether you want another room."

He turned then, his gray-green eyes clear and unguarded.

"But you should never wonder whether I touched you while you couldn't choose. I didn't. I never will."

Noah swallowed.

"I don't want another room."

Something shifted in Adrian's expression.

"I need time," Noah added.

"Take it."

"But you can stay tonight."

Adrian glanced at the bed. "That is a bad idea."

"Probably." Noah moved toward the wall and lifted the comforter. "Only sleep. I'm awake, I'm asking, and I can change my mind."

Adrian stood motionless for so long Noah expected him to refuse. Then he switched off the lamp and lay on the far edge of the mattress.

They left nearly two feet between them.

Noah faced the wall. He could feel Adrian's presence behind him, warm and rigid and determined not to move.

"This is absurd," Noah whispered after ten minutes.

"Agreed."

"You can breathe normally."

"I am."

"No, you're breathing like a bomb technician."

The mattress shifted.

Adrian rolled onto his back. "Go to sleep, Noah."

"What if I move?"

"Then you move."

"What if I touch you?"

Silence.

"You're awake," Adrian said at last. "That would be different."

Noah turned over.

Moonlight outlined Adrian's profile. His eyes were open, fixed on the ceiling.

Noah moved one hand into the empty space between them. He did not touch Adrian. He left the choice suspended there.

After a moment, Adrian placed his hand beside Noah's, palm up.

Noah threaded their fingers together.

When morning came, he woke with his cheek against Adrian's chest and Adrian's arm around his waist.

This time, he remembered exactly how he had gotten there.

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