Morning sun is a harsh mistress.. yes! yes! I know the saying is about the moon, but damnit, you try sleeping with the sun shining in your eyes! Wait! Why is it quiet? I jump up and run out into the hallway.. ahh.. okay. There’s a distant sound of morning giggles and I follow them to the kitchen. Umm. Holy Fuck! I can’t hold the laugh!

Matthew is happily eating dry cheerios on a blanket.. in the middle of the kitchen floor.. The entire kitchen looks like the final stages of Armageddon happened here… My handsome mate is sitting at the island.. clutching a mug of coffee to his forehead..with his eyes closed. Covered in food.. shirt buttoned wrong.. hair standing up all over. Any sign of that sexy manbun gone! “Baby? Are you okay? Can you tell me what happened?”

He looked at me…eyes wild and pointed at the baby. I nodded slowly.. moving slowly, so as not to startle the panicked beast. And asked “Uh huh.. Matthew made things difficult for you this morning, yeah? Can you help me understand what went on?” And he nodded.

“Matthew woke up early. I mean..early, early. Ass crack of dawn early! And I thought ‘ok.. that’s fine. let’s make mommy some breakfast and surprise her’ Because I wanted you to sleep in.. it was a busy day yesterday..and I don’t know how much energy you use when you heal. So.. how hard can it be? I fix my own breakfast all the time. I thought sausage links pancakes and scrambled eggs. How hard can it be?”

I look around at the mess.. nothing.. absolutely NoThing resembles any of what he described. And he says “That’s because the pancake batter I made is on the floor over there. Who knew a 15 month old on your hip could contort their leg into what I can only describe as a grappling hook and grab a bowl with his foot. Slinging said bowl across a room. Or plopping a toddler butt down on an island counter in front of you so you can mix eggs in another bowl for scrambling, would result in a game of let’s see how many eggs we can hurl into the dining hall? Who knew?”

I wanted to tell him I knew, but kept that shit to myself! I glance towards the dining hall.. and sure enough.. there’s raw egg and shell everywhere. I’m going to go with quite a few as an answer to how many..

“So, I decided to scratch the eggs and pancake idea. And asked my mom how to cook the steel oats.. thinking okay.. oatmeal and toast it is! But my mother’s idea of cooking the oats in a pressure cooker is not necessarily the most feasible way to do that” he said that, as he looked up. And I followed his line of sight.. lodged in the ceiling.. above the stove.. is the pressure cooker lid.. while there is oatmeal painting every available surface as far as the eye can see.. and I am barely holding it together.

I rub his back, telling him “That explains the blanket on the floor and dry cereal, huh!?” He nods.. just looking lost and forlorn.. until he says “It also explains my chunky coffee.. which I do NOT recommend!” And that broke me! Took me a good hour to clean the majority of the mess.. mostly because I burst into laughter every few minutes. I had sent Blake to relax and clean up, promising to take him out to breakfast before we start our day!

Dalton walked in just as I was finishing up as much as I could.. and I had him pull the pressure cooker lid out of the ceiling. He saw the hole it had made.. said “I don’t know what kind of kinky shit y’all get up to.. but I ain’t fixing that!” Pointing at the hole. Not saying a word, I grabbed Matthew and ran upstairs to get ready. Blake looked relaxed and happy again..and I breathed a sigh of relief. He pulled us into his arms and whispered “I only thought I admired you before. Now you have mad respect from me! How do you do it? How do you manage everything you do and hold it together?”

I laughed.. “It’s a gradual thing, my love. They’re born.. completely helpless. So your time is filled with their every need. Then they grow.. and their needs grow. They crawl.. and knock things over.. roll under things.. get stuck. Start to toddle around and they touch everything! They will stick forks in electrical outlets, beans up their nose, hide in cupboards.. flush entire rolls of toilet paper down the toilet….stick anything and everything in their mouths to chew on. Play a fun game called throw ‘em down, pick ‘em up.. run stark naked from a bath out a door and into a busy street.. never one time entertaining the notion you would allow any harm whatsoever come to them! They trust you blindly and have complete faith in your ability to keep them safe…while the entire time you are absolutely terrified and have no clue what you’re doing! Welcome to parenthood, baby! It’s a hell of a ride!”

He has a ‘you can’t be serious look’ on his face.. while I just nod sagely! “Yep! This is what you signed on for. This is your life now. Want to back out now? Because while I want to scream at you ‘run! save yourself’ the part that keeps me breathing wants to beg you to stay”

He laughs “This.. you and me.. and Matthew makes three.. is what I want. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. And I am ready! I was ill-prepared this morning. I won’t be caught off guard again!” I nod, laughing “Yeah! You will” and we headed out for breakfast!

Dalton joined us as we walked into the little diner across from the Lair. Blake grabbed the baby a highchair and we sat. I ordered pancakes and eggs.. mostly because that was what my mate wanted to surprise me with this morning.

Dalton tells us “The kitchen staff are wondering what happened to the kitchen.. and I wasn’t, at all, sure what to tell them.” Blake snaps “tell them nothing! The Luna cleaned up the better part of it and I will address it at pack meeting later”

And, all I did was sit.. smiling and making sure Matthew had plenty to eat. He grabbed Blake’s arm “DaDa.. fork” and Blake said “Yes, my little man.. Fork” Dalton said “Ohh.. Why’d it sound like fuck?” I laughed “I warned you about his vocabulary. But you better take it away from him be….. Never mind!” And I grabbed the fork because Blake was rubbing his cheek, while Dalton couldn’t stop laughing. Ahhh.. such is the life! And only a parent can relate!