But after just one step, a soft "thud" sounded behind me.

My footsteps faltered. I looked back to see that Julian had already walked far away.

And there, by the trash can, lay the lunchbox I had just delivered.

At that moment, I could no longer suppress my emotions. Tears gushed out, and I couldn't stop them...

I don't know how long I cried. The tear tracks dried on my cheeks, and it pained me even to wipe them away.

I slowly walked to the trash can, picked up the lunchbox, cradled it in my arms, and walked home step by step.

Since last night, I had prepared myself for all of this. Or rather, I had foreseen this the moment I asked Julian for that equal chance.

But the heartache at this moment was stronger than ever before, making it unbearable.

...

I returned home in a daze.

Seeing my red and swollen eyes, Jude’s brow knit tightly. "Didn't you go find Julian? Did he bully you?"

I held the lunchbox, my hands shaking slightly.

"No..."

I forced back my emotions and put on a smile more bitter than crying. "It's just that... he doesn't seem to like these dishes."

Jude's gaze fell on the unopened box in my hands, and he seemed to realize what had happened.

He stood up slowly. "Sienna, take my advice. Give up."

My eyelashes fluttered. "Jude, I... I don't want to."

"Some people, once you meet them, they're for a lifetime. I... I really don't want to miss out like this."

The option of giving up on Julian had never existed in my life.

Seeing me like this, the anger Jude had suppressed for years began to boil over.

Yet he couldn't bring himself to snap at me. "How can you be so stubborn!"

I said nothing. I lowered my head to blindly wipe away the tears that had fallen, saying hoarsely, "I’m going up now."

I fled in a panic, not wanting to appear so wretched in front of my brother.

Hiding in my bedroom.

I curled up on the bed, my other hand tightly gripping the star bracelet on my wrist.

The sharp edges dug into my palm.

It was the only way I could force myself to keep going.

But the image of Julian ignoring me kept flashing in my mind, and my hand tightened around the bracelet unconsciously.

As time passed, the edges of the stars cut into the flesh of my palm.

A dull, numbing pain occupied my nerves, and a streak of red stained my skirt.

It was only then that I noticed the wound in my palm!

I instinctively let go, and the bracelet—which had broken at some unknown point—crashed to the floor.

Simultaneously, a drop of blood fell, staining the blue stars red...

This scene was like a needle popping the dead silence.

I hurried to pick up the bracelet and put it away, then pressed down on my wound and went downstairs to find the first-aid kit.

As I passed Jude’s door, I suddenly heard a roar from inside: "I told you Sienna’s psychological state is very serious! I told you not to provoke her again! Do you have any idea that she was crying the whole time she came back today?"

"She’s not your sister, so you don't feel the pain, but I do!"

I stood there, paralyzed.

When did I develop psychological problems?

Before I could figure it out, another familiar voice spoke.

"I’m sorry," Julian said calmly.

Jude also calmed down, his voice laced with exhaustion. "Julian, for my sake, just try being with Sienna?"

"Even if it’s just until her condition improves, you can reject her then! I only have this one sister. I don't want to lose her. I’m begging you."

Listening to this, I felt waves of dull pain in my chest.

All these years I had chased after Julian, I hadn't given a single thought to my family’s feelings.

I never imagined that my ever-proud brother would actually beg Julian like this for my sake!

Was I... truly in the wrong?

I couldn't help but doubt myself.

Just then, Julian's voice came through again, cold and heartless.

"I don't owe her anything, and there's no need for me to mistreat myself."

Chapter 10

Those decisive words exploded in my ears.

I instinctively backed away, and the first-aid kit in my hand knocked against the door, making a sound.

The study door was pulled open. Seeing my deathly pale face, Jude hurriedly hung up the phone. "Sienna..."

In that moment, a thousand thoughts seemed to flash through my mind, yet it also felt as if I were thinking of nothing at all.

After a long while, I murmured a question: "Jude, back when you were pursuing your wife, was it very hard for you too?"

At the mention of his wife, a hint of warmth entered Jude’s voice. "It was alright. Back then, the pressure mainly came from our parents. Your sister-in-law and I loved each other. Knowing that she liked me too made it feel easy."

"...I see." I nodded numbly.

A mutual attraction is always better than a one-sided wish.

I was silent for a long time, forcing a smile that looked worse than a sob. "I heard everything."

"It must have been very difficult for you, being caught between Julian and me all these years."

Jude didn't know what to say, so he simply offered comfort. "I got used to it."

"When you were a kid and got into trouble, didn't I always take the blame? Let me think... when you were seven, you accidentally smashed Dad's favorite inkstone. When you were six, you broke the expensive skincare products Mom had just bought..."

Jude spoke of the past with a tone of nostalgia and affection.

As I listened, I gently hugged him. Hot tears flowed silently, soaking the fabric of his shirt...

At the psychological clinic.

The doctor had me complete a series of test questions.

His expression was grave. "I told you all before that you needed to tell her. The patient’s paranoia is very severe. If we don't intervene with treatment, she is highly likely to harm herself."

I clutched the hem of my shirt. So I really was sick, and it had already become this serious.

Jude’s eyes were full of worry. "This is our fault. Is there any way to cure her now?"

The doctor shook his head. "To put it simply, paranoia is a form of possessiveness. To cure it, the patient either gets what she wants, or she stays away."

Hearing this, my eyelashes fluttered.

Julian would never be with me, and I didn't want to leave my family...

"Is there any other way?"

"There is," the doctor said in a low voice. "...Hypnosis."

Back home.

I stood by the window. Across the way, the light in Julian’s room suddenly flickered on, casting his tall silhouette.

At this moment, only a few meters separated us, yet we were as far apart as a vast chasm—so far that I hadn't been able to close the gap by even a millimeter in seven years!

While I was lost in thought, Julian seemed to sense something and looked up.

As our eyes met, I was the first to look away. I reached out and slowly pulled the curtains shut, inch by inch, blocking him out...

Having done this, I pulled out the storage box from under my bed.

Inside were all the things related to Julian that I had carefully kept over the years.

The gifts he gave me every birthday, the souvenirs he brought back from his travels, the postcards he sent... and that blue star bracelet. The elastic cord had snapped during my last episode, and I hadn't had the time to fix it.

I picked it up with great care, looked at it for a while, and used a spare cord from my drawer to restring it.

With every bead I threaded, a memory of Julian flashed through my mind.

By the time the last bead was on... it was dawn.

Looking at the restored bracelet, I recalled the words from The Shawshank Redemption: "Any place you don't like but can't leave, any kind of life you don't like but can't escape, is a prison."

I lifted my aching neck and looked at the rising sun outside the window. I placed the star bracelet along with everything else back into the box and sealed it with tape.

I pushed the box into the deepest corner under the bed, then knocked on Jude’s door to tell him my decision.

"I’m letting myself go. I want to... forget him."

Chapter 11

By the time Julian realized that Sienna hadn't contacted him in a long while, three days had already passed.

Coming home from work, he passed by the house next door and found it swathed in total darkness.

Julian felt it was a bit strange, but he didn't dwell on it.